1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING.
4. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.
5. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
6. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
7. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
8. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
9. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
10. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
11. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
12. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.
13. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
14. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
15. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.